There are two extremes with customers, I’ve found. With little to no middle ground.
There are people who realize, hey, people make mistakes; let me make this right for you. And then.. There are people who believe they are the only customer you have and need constant attention and praise, much like small children and loud homosexuals. There are no words for how infuriating these people are. But here’s some words anyway.
Like all human beings, one can make a mistake; such as putting a delivery order into the computer with minor errors. It happens, no one is perfect. Upon realizing this I place a phone call to the customer in question:
“Hi, I’m calling about your order”
“Yeah, it was missing some toppings?”
“Yes that what this call is about, I’m so sorry about that, it was a mistake on the computer so of course there will be no charge and free toppings on your next order from us.”
“Oh wow really? Thank you, and no worries.”
That is how a phone call should go. I made a mistake, I’m trying to make it better, and sincerely apologize. Thank you for your courtesy and patience, enjoy your pizza.
However some people will not be so kind.
You call me, I don’t call you. Let it begin.
“Hi. I don’t have toppings on my pizza.”
No name, no address. Shall I guess? I get the name and address.
“I’m so sorry about that, of course there will be no charge this time and on your next order you’ll receive free toppings.”
“WHY AM I EVEN PAYING FOR THIS. This is ridiculous, how hard is it to hit buttons? You guys have done this to us before and I don’t fucking get it.”
Excuse me. Rude, rude, rude, ya rude. Unnecessary and horrible. Why are you speaking to a stranger like this? Was your mother a she-bear?
“Well I’m very sorry ma’am, a mistake was made but please, let me fix it for you and ensure that this won’t happen again.”
“No. I don’t. I can’t even. My life is over. How dare you not be a perfect human being like me.”
At this point I just choke on dick until my customer is reasonably happy and I can get off the phone. This may take up to 15 minutes, which leaves the other lines ringing furiously. You are a bad person. You are a time sponge. I apologized and did all I could do to fix this situation.
As of now we have a new policy, unhappy customers may sodomize employees until their rage has passed. Are you happy now?